My f’d up Life in Paradise

30
May
2016

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When people hear that I lived in the Caribbean, they always seem so jealous and talk about how it must have been paradise.  But paradise is a word that is often used so incorrectly.

Sure there was great beaches, hot weather, and lush greenery everywhere…..but paradise goes so much deeper, and includes everything that makes you personally happy.

The Caribbean provided many of the things I appreciate in life, but it was anything but paradise.  Looking back at it now makes me realize that it was some of the most un-paradise times of my entire life.  Hurtful and damaging…..and all I can do is hope that repair and healing can be done now that I’m out of there.

You know how they always say to be careful what you wish for?  Well, this was my hard dose of that exact warning.  The paradise we search for often comes with toxicity floating through the air.

Paradise sometimes comes with a price, and it helps a whole lot when we’re able to know about the hidden costs before jumping in.  I know if I could have looked past the beach and weather, I never would have had the Caribbean as a chapter of my life.

But what can you do?  You can’t go back.  All I can do is move forward, stay positive, and continue to #makeithappen.

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15 Responses to “ My f’d up Life in Paradise ”

  1. Ed on June 1, 2016 at 11:59 am

    I think Darryl just got depressed because he was locked up in the closet to make the 360 podcast!!

    😉

    • Darryl on June 1, 2016 at 6:19 pm

      Hahahahahaha, yeah that’s what it is.

  2. Ed on June 1, 2016 at 11:57 am

    Very often people view weather and locale as more than it is. While we love beautiful climates and places, to some degree it is just scenery. As someone once told me, when you go on a vacation it is a lovely get away. When you live there it becomes just another place. It is your home and all the day to day crap will wear on you the same as anywhere else. No matter how nice the weather is, it can’t make up it if deep down you are not happy. Just like money cannot buy happiness, happiness, fulfillment and joy have to come from somewhere else.

    • Darryl on June 1, 2016 at 6:18 pm

      You are so right, Ed. Thanks for your comments. Crap can happen anywhere, but it’s easier to deal with when you’re in a healthier environment.

  3. Bob Burpee on May 30, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    Myy therapist regularly said “No matter where you go, there you are” Essentially meaning that no matter where we are geographically our issues (which re a part of us) are still there. Paradise is more a state of being then a location which makes it even more elusive.

    • Darryl on May 31, 2016 at 11:09 am

      I’ve seen you write these words before, Bob…..and I love it. Thanks for sharing your words.

  4. Emily Smith on May 30, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    Wow. Thank you for sharing this honest post, Daryl. I never realized from your posts in Grenada just how unhappy you were there. I knew there were challenges, but you always seemed so upbeat dealing with them. Just goes to show how blogs can sometimes paint an overly rosy picture of how things are really going.

    After spending 18 months living ocean front on Ambergris Caye, Belize, I too can relate to the notion that “Paradise” (so called because of swaying palm trees, white sand, and turquoise seas) is not necessarily the right place for us (other than on vacation), and in reality, Paradise can be anywhere that brings you joy; weather or scenery notwithstanding. Would be interested in hearing more on this topic and hope you’ll share further why the Caribbean was actually NOT your “Paradise”. Love it when you get philosophical!

    • Darryl on May 31, 2016 at 11:12 am

      Thanks Emily….I am totally amazed at the attention this post has received. It has had more views than any other post over the past 6 months and I’ve had a bunch of e-mails and social media comments in addition to the comments here.

      I don’t seem to have a problem sharing my insights and personal feeling….I’ve been doing this since I started Loving the Bike over 6 years ago and I’ll continue to do it.

      • Rob on June 8, 2016 at 10:41 am

        Hi Darryl,

        Hope all is going better for you now. I’m with Emily, I’d really like to know more about why the Caribbean ended up not being a paradise for you?

        As someone who is still considering doing something similar, I’d really appreciate some details (nothing too personal) on what you didn’t like if you don’t mind sharing.

        Best,
        Rob

  5. Paul Kirby on May 30, 2016 at 6:51 pm

    Ok. That was supposed to be a reply to Gerald, but it didn’t post that way. I suppose it still works.

    • Gerald on May 30, 2016 at 8:17 pm

      Thanks Paul,
      I love the cacophony of positive comments around Daryl’s post. It really demonstrates what a great leader he is for all of us.
      “No matter where you go, there you are.” I remember that quote from Buckaroo Banzai back in the mid eighties. It has always stuck with me. And it means more to me now than ever before. If you want your world to change, you’ve got to change. Don’t try to change your employer, don’t change the seasons, don’t try and turn night into day. You have to change. Once we figure that out, the whole world opens up to us.
      Thanks Daryl, Thanks Paul

      • Darryl on May 31, 2016 at 11:13 am

        Love to see the commenting between readers….thanks guys. You rock.

  6. Paul Kirby on May 30, 2016 at 6:50 pm

    Well said and so true.

  7. Gerald on May 30, 2016 at 8:12 am

    Hello Daryl
    We are exactly where we need to be at any given moment. I’m sure that there was a reason for you living in the caribbean. The hard part is to recognize it and understand how that makes you a better human being.
    Having a purpose and a vision give ourselves perspective. It makes it really dirt simple to identify the priorities in our lives. Your blog and events help so many people. Is this your purpose? Does this site fit in to your vision for your life?
    It does not matter where we live. We can bike pretty much anywhere on this planet. Who you serve says a lot more about who you are and where you are going than a point on a map.
    Positive emotions along with persistence will get us there.
    Thanks for the thoughtful post Daryl.

    • Darryl on May 30, 2016 at 10:53 am

      You’re always full of great comments, Gerald. Thanks for taking the time to put down your words and share your support.

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