The Sufferfest: Tour of Sufferlandria
If you’ve read my ramblings for any length of time you’ll know I like a damn good flogging on the turbo trainer from time to time and 2013 is set to be no different. This month we see the creation of the newest early season tour – the Tour of Sufferlandria
Straight from the evil mind that brought you such monumentally difficult indoor training videos such as ‘The Hunted’ and ‘The Long Scream’ comes an early season race to rival the humdrum routine of the Tour of Qatar and the Tour Down Under. “Slotting in nicely to the UCI calender of early season races, the Tour of Sufferlandria was created to bring back the drama, agony and misery that the early season peloton deserves. Starting on January 26th, the 9 day event promises to turn even the softest rider into a true Sufferlandrian by the end, on Feb 3rd.”
The Tour of Sufferlandria has been designed by race director Grunter von Agony to be a serious test for those riders who have already been putting in the hard work over the winter and are looking to flourish in the first few months of the new year.
“The course is carefully balanced between agony, misery and despair. So, yes, the Tour of Sufferlandria is a worthwhile target for anybody looking for an early season goal. You really ought to have some solid training behind you before you start it, and you’ll surely go through a roasting in hell during the race. When you come out the other side? With a solid 9 days of effort behind you, you will be able to take an ox, tie him to your bike, drag him up and over Mt. Sufferlandria while he tries to run the other way, and drink a flagon of ale made from the bikes of all those you crushed on your way to a glorious victory. Or the Minions will eat you for lunch. But, whatever.”
– Grunter von Agony
Comprising of 9 stages, starting on January 26th, competitors will take on a different Sufferfest training video each day. And for those thinking that this sounds like a recovery week in the world of The Sufferfest, three of the days cover such a large amount of terrain that you will be required to complete 2 videos!
- Saturday, Jan 26th: Hell Hath No Fury
- Sunday, Jan 27th: The Hunted
- Monday, Jan 28th: Extra Shot + Fight Club
- Tuesday, Jan 29th: A Very Dark Place
- Wednesday, Jan 30th: Angels
- Thursday, Jan 31st: The Wretched + The Long Scream
- Friday, Feb 1st: The Downward Spiral
- Saturday, Feb 2nd: There is No Try + Revolver
- Sunday, Feb 3rd: Local Hero
If you head over to The Sufferfest blog you will find a run down of each individual stage before you slog your way through it, some advice from athletes who have completed previous editions of the race and also some FAQ’s.
As an added incentive, if you sign up to TrainerRoad.com and log your stage numbers via their site you enter yourself into a competition with an absolutely outstanding prize pack…
For those who finish each day: we have three sets of Sufferfest decals to give away every day, as well as a free month of TrainerRoad.
For those who finish the entire Tour on TrainerRoad.com: we will put you into a pool and draw names to win the following prizes…
- The choice of a 32GB iPod Touch or 16 GB iPad mini (provided by the kind gents at TrainerRoad)
- 1 PowerBar Sufferlandrian PowerPack
- 2 sets of Sufferlandrian National Kit (Jersey + Bibs)
- 1 Sufferlandrian National Jersey
- 1 year of free TrainerRoad
- 1 Sufferlandrian Windvest
- 3 flags
- 3 Tour of Sufferlandria posters
- 1 full refund of all 12 videos
- 1 free entry into the TransRockies Challenge Mountain Bike Race in BC, Canada
- 1 x Cyclepassion Calendar 2013
- 1 x Cyclefilm’s “The Italian Job – Gran Fondo Recon” – 6 DVD Set
- 1 x Cyclefilm’s “Roads to Glory – Alpine Training” – Free download
- 1 x Cyclefilm’s “Roads to Glory – Pyrenean Training” – Free download
- 5x Athlete Audio’s App (Mental Training)
If you can’t sign up on TrainerRoad (I won’t be as my rollers do not plug into my ‘puter) you can join the Facebook group and we can revel in joint misery! Hopefully I’ll make it to the other side and I’ll see you at the finish line!