If you’ve read my ramblings for any length of time you’ll know I like a damn good flogging on the turbo trainer from time to time and 2013 is set to be no different.  This month we see the creation of the newest early season tour  - the Tour of Sufferlandria

Straight from the evil mind that brought you such monumentally difficult indoor training videos such as ‘The Hunted’ and ‘The Long Scream’ comes an early season race to rival the humdrum routine of the Tour of Qatar and the Tour Down Under. “Slotting in nicely to the UCI calender of early season races, the Tour of Sufferlandria was created to bring back the drama, agony and misery that the early season peloton deserves. Starting on January 26th, the 9 day event promises to turn even the softest rider into a true Sufferlandrian by the end, on Feb 3rd.”

The Tour of Sufferlandria has been designed by race director Grunter von Agony to be a serious test for those riders who have already been putting in the hard work over the winter and are looking to flourish in the first few months of the new year.

“The course is carefully balanced between agony, misery and despair. So, yes, the Tour of Sufferlandria is a worthwhile target for anybody looking for an early season goal. You really ought to have some solid training behind you before you start it, and you’ll surely go through a roasting in hell during the race. When you come out the other side? With a solid 9 days of effort behind you, you will be able to take an ox, tie him to your bike, drag him up and over Mt. Sufferlandria while he tries to run the other way, and drink a flagon of ale made from the bikes of all those you crushed on your way to a glorious victory. Or the Minions will eat you for lunch. But, whatever.”

- Grunter von Agony

Comprising of 9 stages, starting on January 26th, competitors will take on a different Sufferfest training video each day. And for those thinking that this sounds like a recovery week in the world of The Sufferfest, three of the days cover such a large amount of terrain that you will be required to complete 2 videos! 

Full Schedule:

• Saturday, Jan 26th: Hell Hath No Fury
• Sunday, Jan 27th: The Hunted
• Monday, Jan 28th: Extra Shot + Fight Club
• Tuesday, Jan 29th: A Very Dark Place
• Wednesday, Jan 30th: Angels
• Thursday, Jan 31st: The Wretched + The Long Scream
• Friday, Feb 1st: The Downward Spiral
• Saturday, Feb 2nd: There is No Try + Revolver
• Sunday, Feb 3rd: Local Hero

If you head over to The Sufferfest blog you will find a run down of each individual stage before you slog your way through it, some advice from athletes who have completed previous editions of the race and also some FAQ’s.

As an added incentive, if you sign up to TrainerRoad.com and log your stage numbers via their site you enter yourself into a competition with an absolutely outstanding prize pack…

For those who finish each day: we have three sets of Sufferfest decals to give away every day, as well as a free month of TrainerRoad.

For those who finish the entire Tour on TrainerRoad.com: we will put you into a pool and draw names to win the following prizes…

• The choice of a 32GB iPod Touch or 16 GB iPad mini (provided by the kind gents at TrainerRoad)
• 1 PowerBar Sufferlandrian PowerPack
• 2 sets of Sufferlandrian National Kit (Jersey + Bibs)
• 1 Sufferlandrian National Jersey
• 1 year of free TrainerRoad
• 1 Sufferlandrian Windvest
• 3 flags
• 3 Tour of Sufferlandria posters
• 1 full refund of all 12 videos
• 1 free entry into the TransRockies Challenge Mountain Bike Race in BC, Canada
• 1 x Cyclepassion Calendar 2013
• 1 x Cyclefilm’s “The Italian Job – Gran Fondo Recon” – 6 DVD Set
• 1 x Cyclefilm’s “Roads to Glory – Alpine Training” – Free download
• 1 x Cyclefilm’s “Roads to Glory – Pyrenean Training” – Free download
• 5x Athlete Audio’s App (Mental Training)

If you can’t sign up on TrainerRoad (I won’t be as my rollers do not plug into my ‘puter) you can join the Facebook group and we can revel in joint misery! Hopefully I’ll make it to the other side and I’ll see you at the finish line!

Stevie

There comes a time in every cyclists’ season when the gluttony of an extra spoon of sugar in the coffee or a cheeky pain au chocolat or three over the winter catches up with them and something snaps. When that happens and the balance of treacle sponge versus training regime swings towards the more energetic activities THESUFFERFEST are always round the corner waiting to pounce give you a darn good seeing to… and this time it’s no different!

THE WRETCHED works on the premise that you’ve had a terrible season, under performed at every race and the team are in desperate need of a win at the Tour de France. Unfortunately the French have gone on strike and in order to get the stage done, the TDF powers that be are going to condense the 7 hour stage into just 35 minutes, something that sounds ridiculous but you never know these days! After a quick warm up powered by the strange but enchanting rock sound of Banstead band Redados you reach the top of Box Hill, which featured in the Olympic Road Race. It was great to see the Box Hill climb in a Sufferfest video as I’ve ridden it many times and is fairly local to me, but it also highlighted the hierarchy of the climbs I’ve ridden in real life as this was merely a warm up!

On to the job at hand and all the Sufferlandrian DS had asked is that you follow every break, take the King of the Mountains competition for the day and win in the final sprint. Now if you’ve never ridden THESUFFERFEST before let me tell you it is very similar to real racing, just without the handlebars bashing into you or the crazy noob in front swerving all over the road. Throughout the video there is the feeling that something is about to go off. When you are not attacking, you know that something is going to happen and begin to beg the riders around you to give you a few more seconds respite before it all goes off again.

The early attacks ping off the front

Some slick new graphics and the great choice of music (as always) make this video one that you will love to hate from the word go. The music, all by bands that I’ve never heard of and frankly probably wouldn’t have done if they weren’t Sufferlandrian national treasures is one of two main driving forces behind this video. Everyone’s had that feeling at some stage where music cuts deep into your soul. A ballad you attribute to the ups and downs of your first love. The rock anthem that swells and makes you feel invincible. Or the fun summer tune that stays in your head for months and makes you dream of beaches and cold beer. This video has them all and with the change of scene comes a change of music and each time you get a new song you thank Merckx as it just fits so beautifully and either soothes those muscles as you briefly recover or drives you on like a lunatic.

10/10, full on, no holds barred

The other noticeable driving force behind The Wretched is the use of such recent Tour de France race footage. Taking officially licensed footage from the 2012 Tour de France makes this video a delight to watch whilst your legs feels like they are about to fall off. As with the on-screen stars of most of THESUFFERFEST videos, over the 35 minutes of pain I grew to hate Cadel Evans who backs you into the pain cave and then sets the wolves on you. Any stage that finishes with a 3 man battle between Tommy Voekler, Michele Scarponi and Jens Voigt has got to have been a tough one and this training video definitely doesn’t disappoint.

Having been an avid ‘Fest lunatic for some time now I’ve done my fair share of roller riding in front of the TV and would definitely say this is up there with the toughest of the videos that have emerged from the depths of THESUFFERFEST pain cave. There is a great range of videos in the series now with editions covering all aspects of racing and something to suit everyone. There will always be the classics, the favourite videos but if you are about to buy your first training video and get on the road to glory make THE WRETCHED your first buy and you won’t be disappointed. You’ll be flogged, abused and left crying in a pile in the corner, but you won’t be left wanting.

Purchase The Wretched or any The Sufferfest video right here.

Another double LovingTheBike thumbs up to THESUFFERFEST team!

Stevie

Any regular reader will know that I like to keep my posts light hearted and simple… like me. But I’ve had this post in me for some time now and although it is not fully realised yet, I want to cack-handedly explain my point and get your views on the subject. 

The modern sports superstar is a complex beast. They are at the peak of physical fitness, mentally strong, media savvy and walking, talking advertisers of everything from sneakers to themselves. But how did they end up commanding so much of our attention and demanding so much in return when sports and the superstars themselves came from such humble, yet brutally hard roots as the Roman gladiator?

Tommy B and the gang just chillin’, selling some pillows!

Usually prisoners of war or men who had fallen in to debt and sold their freedom to clear their debts, Roman gladiators had none of the luxuries that a modern sportsman has. Gladiators were essentially slaves, providing their owner with a financial income, despite not getting paid themselves and living  in barracks like soldiers. Although some of the more successful ones may have had minor-celebrity status and regular members of society may take an interest in their form (similar to that of a racehorse) on the whole they were not liked in society and were seen to be good for only one thing – fighting!

Although they were the lowest of the low, these men were involved in one of the earliest sports and people paid to see them fight for survival which they saw as entertainment. So how did we get to the stage now where sports men and women are paid gigantic sums of money to entertain us? Whether it be in the stadium or sitting at home with our pay-per-view watching the hard men of Le Tour slug it out on the slopes of France it is the sportsman who has become the most important part of the relationship, demanding our attention and pushing us to look, buy and behave they way they do.

In such a materialistic world it’s hard to imagine our society where we are the ones who control the path and legacy of our sports ‘entertainers’. Modern sport is more like a drug. A drug we can’t do without and sacrifice other parts of our lives to make sure we don’t miss out on that endorphin riddled high. I haven’t read the entire history of the world yet, but this change in the way sportsmen are viewed in society happened at some time. If you have time this week, you could read it all for me and let me know!

Somewhere along the line the modern sports superstar has morphed from a controlled, despised and lowly member of society into an all-powerful super being. Well… most of them!

Stevie

This year has seen some alarming news stories surrounding cycling and the dark art of doping, some more shocking and unbelievable than others. As we head towards 2013 and an off season that will surely be filled with more finger pointing and name calling, has the future of the professional sport been saved by the mainstream media splashing the men we once called our heroes, over the front page and exposing them to be what they really are?

Many people have heard of the ‘omerta’ of doping in cycling and if you have been interested in professional bike racing to any degree of the last 100 years you cannot escape the fact that performance enhancing drugs (PED’s) have played a part in almost every generation of the sport.  It has always been a sad state of affairs but finally, despite the attempts of some of our most senior-ranking governing body officials, the sport seems to be taking positive steps towards cleaning up its act for the safety and health of its riders as well as the sanctity of sport (although I’m sure similar articles were written following the Festina and Operation Puerto affairs!).

An argument I’ve regularly used to friends who accuse (maybe rightly or wrongly) cycling of being full of cheats is that the sport tests their competitors  much more vigorously than most other sports, resulting in the cheats being found rather than left lurking in the background with no fear of being tested and found out.  I for one, am proud that my sport chooses to be so proactive in the fight against PED’s, even if the hierarchy of the sport and some teams attempt to derail that at times.  The average cyclist/cycling fan knows a considerable amount more about the issues surrounding doping than many other sports fans because we have been slapped in the face with it so many times and have HAD to learn about it or else you lose touch and fall out of the loop.

But what about those friends of mine who once called cycling ‘dirty’ and ‘full of cheats’?  2012 has been a huge year for sport in general but particularly for cycling here in the UK.  Bradley Wiggins’ triumph at Le Tour and a hefty medal haul at the London Olympics for Team GB riders has resulted in cycling going through a British renaissance and thrust it in to the popular culture and consciousness of a much larger proportion of the population (not to mention a carbon road bike is now favoured as the new ‘go to’ toy for middle aged men in a mid-life crisis rather than the Porsche 911!).  All of this publicity has allowed the mainstream media to devote more column inches to cycling and publish the hardest hitting topics including cycling.  To me this can only be a good thing.  The more people who understand the sport and the troubled past we have gone through, the more likely we are to fight against those that want to drag us back down again.

No longer can we turn our backs on doping and pretend it’s not happening.  We owe it to the sport and ourselves to be alert to the pitfalls and rather than hide them like a dirty secret, be open and honest.  Fans of cycling have known for years that there is a strong chance the riders they follow are on the juice purely as a result of the sport being so doped in the past.  But that hasn’t stopped some riders.  When fans follow their every move, Tweet and buy every product they endorse regardless of erroneous medical practices or pathetic excuses why should they change?  Only when an athlete’s livelihood and their endorsement deals are put on the line do they even begin to suggest they have done wrong and try to persuade us they can change.  We need the masses to understand doping, deplore it and then the sponsors of riders who cast a shadow across our sport will eventually take note.

The recent departure of Rabobank from the sponsor line-up of professional road racing was described in their press statement as if it was a step in the right direction and that they could no longer tolerate the fear of doping in the team.  Although their continued support of developments teams on the road and in CX highlights their love of the sport and a desire to keep the Rabobank name clean their departure was not seen to be for such noble reasons by some, most notably David Millar.

Rabobank are not the first and they surely wont be the last sponsor to leave the sport due to concerns about doping.  Whether it is a damage limitation exercise or an altruistic movement, I’ll let you decide.  I believe the louder we shout about doping and the ‘omerta’, the more likely we are to improve our sport and banish professional doping to the history books.

Make a difference today, tell someone about professional cycling’s doping history and be part of a proactive renaissance.

Stevie

In a week that has seen the lives of some, and the dreams of many, strewn in tatters across the internet I thought it’d be nice to bring something wonderful to the screens of the loyal readers of LovingTheBike.com.

Martyn Ashton is apparently very well known in the MTB and trials scene and has been a pro for almost 20 years. The skill and finesse that the spot of trials needs can be seen in beautiful detail in the films below. It’s clear it’s not all about the bike… and has a considerable amount to do with the fleshy humanoid atop the steed.

It’s awesome seeing someone able to do these tricks on a £10,000 carbon road bike and also goes to show just how robust a modern road bike it. These videos have been making their way around via social media in the last week, but feast your eyes again on the pure, unadulterated skill of Mr Ashton… just please don’t try this at home!