I’m a Fake

Well, not totally a fake…..but a fake none-the-less.  I come out here every Monday with a “Make it Happen” post intended to motivate and inspire all of you.  But in reality, it’s often me who needs an attitude adjustment more than anyone.

I guess you could call it ironic.  On one hand I feel I’m definitely a make it happen kind of guy who isn’t afraid to go after the things I want, and will take risks to get there.  But along with that, I don’t have the level of self-confidence and self-belief that should come along with it.

I'm a Fake

But what makes me feel even more like a fake is the fact that the way I come across in public (both online and in person) is not the way I always am in my homelife.  Especially the way I’ve been lately due to the fact I’m so busy getting our Mocha Spoke cafe up and running.

I’ve been overly negative, grumpy, angry, un-caring, and about every other un-positive form of expression.  So I haven’t really been living up to the positive vibes I try to impress upon you all each Monday.

So what’s the deal?  How come it’s so easy to be one way in public, and totally the opposite in private?  I’ve been treating strangers better than my own Family.  I’ve been telling you all to be positive and upbeat….while ignoring the message myself.

I can’t help but feel like a fake.  On a positive note, I have been cycling as much as I ever have and surrounding myself with bicycles in every way I can.  My passion for cycling is definitely not fake….and my time on the bike has helped keep me from completely flying off the deep end.

So as always, I’ll be the person most in need of our Loving the Bike Make it Happen Monday posts.  They’ll keep coming each week, and I’ll keep working at becoming the person I wish to be (online, in person, at home).

  • TheBlueTurtle

    I’ve come to appreciate the yogic principle of “The Drawing of the Bow”… There are times in our lives when we need to “withdraw” in order to Build Energy for a greater leap forward. You have a lot on your plate right now, obviously, and I would not be the least bit surprised if you have been going and going and going, thinking you can do that indefinitely without “pulling back” for a while. There are very few (if any?) natural life processes that do not have their ebb and flow. Humans are no different. If you allow for the ebb, you will get back to flowing soon enough. And there is nothing “fake” about honoring the natural cycles of your own life.

    • http://lovingthebike.com Darryl is Loving the Bike

      What a great response…..thanks for writing. Yes, I definitely need to just pull back for a bit and I know it will help. I’ve been craving a vacation and I never usually feel that way. Soon, very soon.

  • Tim Starry

    “you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

    Main Entry:fake  [feyk]
    Part of Speech:adjective
    Definition:false, imitation
    Synonyms:affected, artificial, assumed, bogus, concocted, counterfeit, fabricated, fictitious, forged,fraudulent, invented, make-believe, mock, phony, pretended, pseudo*, reproduction,sham, simulated, spurious
    Notes:a fake is a work of art that is deliberately made or altered to appear better, older, orother than what it is; a forgery is a fraudulent imitation of another thing that already exists

  • Eric Hutchins

    At the risk of repeating a lot of what others have already said. The post is exactly what makes you real, approachable and why so many connect with you Darryl.

    There is no doubt that all of us, including me spend time in the dumps, and like Joel said, also spend a lot of time wallowing in it when we could be NOT letting things get to us as much as they do and enjoying all the beautiful moments that are going on around us.

    I LOVE the make it happen monday stuff, Love it because it helps and also because it reminds me that happiness is a choice. That no matter how much they love us, no one can MAKE IT HAPPEN for us.

    You Rock.

    • http://lovingthebike.com Darryl is Loving the Bike

      You Rock, my friend. You always know what to say, and when to say it. Thanks, Eric.

      • Eric Hutchins

        No Worries my friend.

  • Julie Starling

    Hang in there, Darryl! Your mood will improve once things are up and running well! Lots of work is lots of stress, but it will be worth it and then you can be chill once more. :-)

    • http://lovingthebike.com Darryl is Loving the Bike

      Thanks Julie, I appreciate your comments as always.

  • Mary Turner Johnson

    Wow! Had to read Joel’s message a few times, to really absorb all the wise words written!….and Darryl I read a lot of your posts, but this one just hit a cord with me and I had to respond. I enjoy reading all that you write about, and the way you so effortlessly allow yourself to be vulnerable with your honesty. A commendable quality, and why it is so easy to be your friend.

    • http://lovingthebike.com Darryl is Loving the Bike

      Thanks for that, Mary. I guess I’ve never really thought about it…..but one thing I can’t hide very well is my emotions. Good or bad. It transcends over to my writing as well and I’m generally not afraid of saying what’s on my mind. Some things I hold closer, but other things I’m okay with sharing with whoever wants to read.

  • Jennifer Hilton

    Hang in there! Sometimes we all have bridges to cross, but you’ll get there. Take a deep breath and keep moving. You’re not a fake. Haven’t ever read anything more real than this!

    • http://lovingthebike.com Darryl is Loving the Bike

      Thanks Jennifer….really appreciate you commenting.

  • http://www.reasons2ride.com/ Joel Phillips

    The only irony here is that you would title this post “I’m Fake”, then proceed to inform us all how very real you are…As I’ve read your posts over the past few weeks, it’s occurred to me that you don’t get to spend the time you’d like with your family, and maybe frustrated because you are missing stuff at home while having to deal with stuff that comes with owing a business on a Caribbean island. From this side of the fence, it looks like a dude dreamed something big for his family and himself, now he is making it happen, so let’s dis-spell the not enough self-confidence/belief notion.

    Remember riding a bicycle takes balance and part of that balance comes from the structural integrity of the wheels. What happens when a spoke becomes loose or goes missing, yep…throws the balance off. So too is our life, if something is out of balance, chances are there is an area in our life we are not acting with full integrity. You pointed directly to it, “I’ve been treating strangers better than my own Family”. Something I can closely identify with. Why is it easier for us to be one way in public and another in private? Right now I’d say you are not allowing yourself to be in private who you are in public, because you are not allowing who you are in public into your private life since it is that which is taking away from your private life. I know I would get frustrated because I missed a nephew’s first words or epic water fight because I was at a networking event or speaking engagement. Then when I was around my family, I would be all Oscar the Grouch because I missed so much, then I would realize I was missing out on stuff right in front of my eyes which made me even more frustrated.

    Just a small change in attitude is all the torque this spoke needs to bring this wheel back to true. Allow yourself to be present with your family, turn off that voice in your head that keeps telling you how much you are missing because of work and allow all that love and awesomeness you and your family share to flourish. Through everything you are genuine Darryl and that shines brightly. Remember my friend, the moments we totally miss are never as great as the moments we fully experience.

    Much Love,

    Joel

    • http://lovingthebike.com Darryl is Loving the Bike

      Once again, you’ve helped make a post better by including your comments and adding to the content. You’re one of a kind, Joel and I’m thankful to have you as an honorary brother and a major teammate here at Loving the Bike.
      I really appreciate your words and wisdom. Thanks, my friend.

  • Kevin

    Get that chin up man! Everyone has bad spells. The fact that you can recognize that you’re in one and can be honest and proactive about it means you already have a leg up on it!

    • http://lovingthebike.com Darryl is Loving the Bike

      Thanks Kevin, as I mentioned to Bill….there’s more to the story. But we just have to Ride On, right?

  • AmandaGaleKotyk

    I Love You! <3

    • http://lovingthebike.com Darryl is Loving the Bike

      Thanks Sweetie, I really appreciate the love and support you give me.

  • Daniela Froehlich-Ruggle

    Love your honesty!!!!

    • http://lovingthebike.com Darryl is Loving the Bike

      Thanks Daniela, I’ve always been pretty much an open book. It helps a lot to be surrounded by great people like you and Rene.

  • Bill

    Easy Darryl we all go through low points. Spoil the family tonight and get it turned around you have A good thing going. Bill

    • http://lovingthebike.com Darryl is Loving the Bike

      Hi Bill, thanks for your message. There’s a bit more to this story and I hope to write more in the upcoming weeks. But it will pass and I’ll be as spunky as ever.

  • Mary Turner Johnson

    You’re human. Family is our safe place to easily be what we need to be, when we need to be it….. that is what luxury one has with a supportive, caring family that unconditionally loves us. Not too mention having a kick ass partner who shares the same dreams and goals…. Lucky You!

    • http://lovingthebike.com Darryl is Loving the Bike

      Hi Mary, thanks for taking the time to drop by the site today. I appreciate your words and right now my Family is definitely the one things holding me together.