Shit Cycling Climbers Say


Shut up JensIt’s been about a year and a half since the “Shit Cyclists Say” video went viral and spurned a bunch of similar type posts.  My buddy, Ryan van Duzer was the star of the original video (which has had well over a million views) and it’s still the best of the bunch. It’s been long enough now for this idea to be somewhat cool again, so we’re creating a list of all the things road cycling climbers have to say. To make it more appealing, we’ve enlisted the support of Bike2Power and Knights of MoBay, and they’ll be giving away  some great prizes to those who comes up with the best response. So tell us what kind of “Shit Road Climbers Say” by leaving it in the comments section below. Here’s a few that I came up with to start you off:

  • I only do climbs rated as Hors Catégorie.
  • Shut Up Jens.
  • That’s a hill, not a climb.
  • I call anything under 15%, downhill.
  • I’ve done Col du Tourmalet 4 times….in one day.

Maybe we can get Duzer to record this for us once we get the list together.


Prizes will be awarded to the top 3 suggestions.  Yes, you can submit more than one.  Thanks to Bike2Power and Knights of MoBay for supplying some great prizes.

1st Prize

2nd Prize

3rd Prize

  • $25 Gift Certificate from Bike2Power

This contest is now closed.  Thanks to all who entered.

Our judges went through all the entries and here is what they came up with:

  • 1st Place: mad24960
  • 2nd Place: Anthony Barr
  • 3rd Place: Scott D Gilbert

We’d like our winners to please send in contact information to and we’ll get your prizes out to you.

Enjoy Your Ride
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24 Responses to “ Shit Cycling Climbers Say ”

  1. Mark Beaconsfield on May 15, 2014 at 8:27 am

    *Flicks elbow wildly* “COME ON DUDE! TAKE A TURN, WILL YA!”

  2. Scott D Gilbert on May 14, 2014 at 7:31 pm

    “Dude you got “Chicked” by that Butterfly!”

  3. Stevie Dexter Wynn on May 14, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    “Oh…! You’re doing this one in the granny ring!?”

  4. rycera on May 14, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    If I can just make it to that treeline I’ll be halfway to the halfway point, which means I’m almost to the… dammit, it just keeps going!

  5. Pat Stiles on May 14, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    Grab my wheel!!!! Grab it!!!

  6. Pat Stiles on May 14, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    It’s a false flat

  7. Mark Beaconsfield on May 14, 2014 at 11:37 am

    “Thats not a mountain. I’ve ridden over speed bumps bigger than that!”

  8. mad24960 on May 14, 2014 at 8:49 am

    I am training with a heavier bike today, you know, building up for the season . . .

  9. Samantha Stewart on May 13, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    Mountain? What mountain?

  10. Eric on May 13, 2014 at 8:10 pm

    I would have gotten up there faster if I didn’t slip my chain.

  11. Jay on May 13, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    What’s your strength to weight ratio?

  12. Kelli, RD on May 13, 2014 at 6:30 pm

    “No chariot? You’re not even trying.” (okay maybe I’m the only one saying this)

  13. Jim on May 13, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    I don’t sit down for just anyone you know.

  14. Trey Cant Write on May 13, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    “Sweet rolls? No thanks, baby carrots and black coffee are sooooo filling”

  15. gfv on May 13, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    Rode the phat bike to the top yesterday with a PR. When I got home I found the rear brake was dragging.

  16. Anthony Barr on May 13, 2014 at 12:20 pm

    my calf is i’m not blasting out of the saddle right now…

  17. Mark Beaconsfield on May 13, 2014 at 11:58 am

    “Rest? No, I stopped to take a photo of the view.”

  18. Mark Beaconsfield on May 13, 2014 at 11:56 am

    “I rode Alpe d’Huez completely in the big ring, twice!”

  19. Dan on May 13, 2014 at 11:51 am

    Things are looking up!

  20. Mark Beaconsfield on May 13, 2014 at 11:37 am

    “Strava, or it didn’t happen!”

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