Maybe Tomorrow

Have you ever pulled your chest muscle? If so, you know how annoying it is. If not, let me teach you a thing or two about how it affects everything and anything you do.

I was doing push-ups, at least that’s what I believe caused it. I hadn’t done any core work in a while, and clearly wasn’t ready for it. So, I pulled the muscle that’s across your breastbone. I’ve done it before, years ago, while carry a 50 lb typewriter (yes, nostalgia time) up some stairs. That time I went a day before panic set in and I went to the ER. Pro-tip, if you want to waste less time sitting in the ER, say you’re having trouble breathing and your chest hurts. They did an EKG and checked my heart, but the conclusion was a muscle pull. I got some muscle relaxers (useless) and told to relax and not do anything to aggravate it. That time was a lot worse, and I ended up putting my arm in a sling to prevent me from using it.

This time, the pain of it was masked by a concurrent infection and serious, bad-samosa inducing heartburn. As in, I couldn’t drink coffee or dairy or anything acidic for a week less be doubled-over in pain. Once those two things were cured, the realization that I couldn’t walk down the street nevertheless exercise due to breathing too hard was seriously, seriously annoying.

The feeling is of someone pushing the heel of their palm into your chest, constantly. You can breathe fine, but shallower than usual. Deep breaths take a bit more work. Anything involving your chest, shoulders or arms makes it worse. Sitting here just typing makes it worse. Walking the dog is out because the dog pulls, and it’s hot (here) and getting enough air is too much work. Cycling is out because you use your arms a lot more than you think. Basically, doing anything but slouching on the couch with an ice pack on your chest is a no-no.

This is exactly what I’ve been doing every night, hoping it wouldn’t come back the next day, but here it is. Maybe tomorrow will be better.